Emotional Monday...

What a way to start off the week.. Emotional and down in the dumps!!.... My journey with one specialist is not quite finished... I went in to see the Gastro doc last Thursday only to find out I didn't take my antibiotic right for it to be 90% effective... (If that makes any sense?!?) I was supposed to take it with Prilosec to make it more effective... so now I wait for another 8 weeks to see if my symptoms come back...

 I guess at this point I'm just frustrated... Just frustrated with everything... It's sad that we have to be our own doctor.. At this point I just want to take in a list of all the diseases that accompany IC to my general doctor and tell him... "Here's a list of things to check for!!" I think I have fibro or arthritis, because I'm always so tired and my body hurts all over!! When will it end?!?

 I'm having one of those days where I just cry all day... I need encouragement... I hate when I get like this.. Today is one of those days I prefer my kids not to see me... Because today is a day I can't hide the pain...  This is when I cry out to the LORD for comfort and peace!! Sorry to vent... but we all know how bad a flare can get... and this bladder/yeast infection doesn't help..

"The LORD himself watches over you! The LORD stands beside you as your protective shade."            --Psalm 121:4

"For the angel of the LORD guards all who fear him, and rescues them." --Psalm 34:7

"Even though I feel like I'm at the "End Of my Rope" I set my eyes on the King of ALL KIngs for comfort!"--Angelica Arellano


You're not Shaken-- Phil Stacey
http://youtu.be/V_UWEtraIM

What Faith can do--Kutless
http://youtu.be/WTNBWv33-QI

Thank Goodness It's Friday!!

I received this email and would love to share with you...

Senator Harry Reid on Interstitial Cystitis

Senator Harry Reid educated colleagues about interstitial cystitis (IC) Tuesday during a discussion about the 20th Anniversary of the NIH Office of Research on Women’s Health (ORWH). Speaking in support of a resolution proposed by Senator Barbara Mikulski to recognize the tremendous role that ORWH plays in advancing scientific research on women’s health, Mr. Reid highlighted IC as an example of a condition that primary affects women.

Senator Reid explained to the US Senate that IC “…can best be described as the pain is like shoving slivers of glass up and down someone's bladder. The pain is excruciating and awful. It was a disease that people said was psychosomatic because it was only women who had the problem, so they overlooked it. If it had been men—and we were an all-male legislature at the time—I am sure it would have gotten more attention. I added my assistance to Senator Mikulski, and we were able to establish a protocol. Now people understand this, and it has made a lot of progress. This is one example of why the work of Senator Barbara Mikulski has been so important.”

Barbara Mikulski also shared a story from the 1990s when a group of female senators recognized the vital need to change the then NIH policy not to include women in clinical research trials. Senator Mikulski said, “We had a big problem. Women were being systematically excluded from NIH clinical research. It was not sound science, and it was not acceptable. Our worst concerns were confirmed by a 1990 GAO report, which proved that women were not being included in clinical trials.

I had to do something about it. I remember it well: I called up my women colleagues, and they agreed. We piled into the car on a hot August day, and we drove to NIH in Bethesda, MD. Our aim was to assemble all 12 institutes, communicate our concerns, and see what goals they could come up with to resolve this unfair exclusion. We showed up: Connie Morella, Olympia Snowe, Pat Schroeder, and I—and so did the TV cameras and Time Magazine. We made it clear that the time had come to include women in scientific research, remember their place in the Federal budget, and treat them with respect.”

Thanks to Senators Reid and Mikulski for helping to get the word out about the need for expanded interstitial cystitis and women’s health scientific and clinical research!

This is from the ICA e-Newsletter...

If you haven't already signed up for the e-newsletter...YOu should... it's free!!

www.ichelp.org 

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and remember STAY POSITIVE!

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do no be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. --Isaiah 41:10

I know I'm going through a rough flare right now and I'm standing on the word of God to give me peace and comfort! --Angelica Arellano 

Let's give Thanks!!

I want to talk about the premier of MTV'S "True Life"-I can't have sex...
 I think we were all disappointed because we were expecting to turn our televisions on and see another IC patient going through what we all go through on a daily basis... This was just a tip of the iceberg, (IC girls we of all people) We should know... that with IC we deal with more than one disease... There's Fibromyalgia, Painful Pelvic disorder, irritable bowel syndrome  and the list goes on... But the show was about having painful sex or not being able to have sex... Tali was given this opportunity to share her story along with 2 others... I think she tried her best!!  But like I said... It was just the tip of the iceberg... Many of us may deal with this and maybe some of us don't... I know I'm new to this IC business..( I'm a baby to all this.. some of us have been dealing with it for over 10 years!!) And watching the show made me realize that maybe I have Painful Pelvic disorder or vulvodynia...  I know it's more than IC...
 My point is we shouldn't have all this negative or harsh feelings towards Tali or Mtv... We should applaud Tali for stepping up and trying!! And Mtv was focused on the three women who can't have sex and what can they do to fix it... Remember they only have an hour...
  With us IC patients we don't need an HOUR of air time...WE NEED a reality show that's on every week to get our point across!!

 I know we all were disappointed in some way about the show... But let's be an Advocate for IC and always share with friends and family... Whether it's through Facebook, a Blog or just a simple conversation!! I hope you have an amazing week.... and stay positive!! Don't let this disease run your life... And BE STRONG!!

Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. - Psalm 55:22

Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you. -Psalm 37:5

"Hold onto Faith... Faith that there will be a cure!!" - Angelica Arellano

Francesca Battistelli- Free to be me...( 1 of my FAVORITE)
http://youtu.be/mgc5WJd3t1k

Jeremy Camp- There will be a day
http://youtu.be/k8gkDiTvloc

Flare Go Away Already!!!

 I have been dealing with this flare for 2 weeks now... Today is one of those days that it feels like it's at it's worst, which I hate because my spirits are down...
 Does anyone ever experience contraction like pain when you have flares? I know I do... yesterday was one of those days... My oldest always jokes with me and says... "Mom what if one of these days you do pop out a baby, and you didn't know you were prego!!"

 Is it sad that I have learned to hide my pain, so I can be a mom, wife and daughter.... I need to do installation but we all know how much I hate doing them (since I had bad experiences)...

 I finally finished my antibiotic for my stomach (at least I'm eating more than once a day again, and not coughing up my lungs anymore) but I still feel pain in my stomach... I need to see the gastro doc this week.... and the general doc...
 I can't wait until this is over...(Well all the testing and going to different doctors) I was told next is the neurologist then the Osteopathologist... 


I'm trying something new... Nothing for the pain... and I don't think it's working out to well... I don't want to become addicted or depend on any kind of drug (what should I try?) ...


  I did stop smoking... I've smoked cigarettes since I was 17 years old... And I feel great...NO Patches, No Gum...JUST THE GRACE OF GOD!! 


 Well I hope everyone has a great weekend....
"Great is the Lord and most worthy of Praise; his greatness no one can fathom" - Psalm 145:3


Lord, I choose to praise you through this pain. You are great, and there is no one worthy of Your honor and glory. "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the One I praise"(Jeremiah 17:14)   I give you this discomfort, and I ask in the name and power of Jesus that You would take it away. Help me and heal me completely from my hurt. Let my heart ache only for the comfort and healing balm of Your presence. 
--From the book... Power Prayers for Women By: Jackie M. Johnson


 "Everyone goes through storms throughout life... But are you joyful through the storms? BE joyful at times when you think you can't!! And Glorify ONLY GOD!!" - Angelica Arellano


Hillsong United- Everlasting
http://youtu.be/YbGgA2lIDjc


Casting Crowns- Praise you in the storm
http://youtu.be/uHdcyue0bSw

A Year to Remember....

 I hope everyone had a Wonderful Thanksgiving... I know I did (it was my first year making the turkey).. I had this fear I was going to burn the turkey and never hear the end of all the jokes from the family..LOL.. And I'm glad to say my sisters, my daughter and I did a great JOB!!

 This year is my last year here in the Denver area.... And it kinda makes me sad that some people who you thought so much of could careless about spending time with you.... This makes me wonder who REALLy is genuine.. Maybe I shouldn't say it makes me sad... it just makes me appetite the ones who ARE Genuine. And it makes me realize has it always been me making the effort...(has it always been a one way street?)  I think I've realized I deserve better... and why would I stand for that?!? NO THANK YOU.. I'LL PASS!!

   I'm hoping all my test come back normal so there are no humps in the road... so we can move when planned...  I did receive my CAT scan results the night before Thanksgiving via email once again.... but before I post anything I have many question for my doc.... ( I don't think it's anything bad... but I still would like to know details)

 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." -Matthew 21:22

" Then when you call, the Lord will answer. 'Yes, I am here,' he will quickly reply ". -Isaiah 58:9

"I'm leaving everything I know to serve the LORD... The King of ALL KINGS"- Angelica Arellano.


Misty Edwards- MORE
http://youtu.be/30K1ynJgSMc

Kim Walker- He loves US
http://youtu.be/X-rW528qiYw

Test Results

I had my procedure last Monday, and I had been flaring before hand, so after the procedure I started to flare even more!! Talk about having it bad!! Here I am once again hyping myself up for a Cocktail/Installations..

I received my test results via email.... And would like to share with everyone...

Angelica, I was able to review your recent upper endoscopy biopsies. I am happy to say that your biopsies were essentially unremarkable. There was no cancer, polyps, ulcers or significant problems. There was however, some helicobacter pylori bacteria found on biopsy. This is a relatively common finding that can lead to gastritis, ulcers and, rarely, stomach cancer.  I have also arranged for CAT scan of the chest abdomen and pelvis to evaluate the nodule that I saw under the wall of the esophagus.  I would recommend following up with me a week or two after completing your course of antibiotics. You should also be taking a strong acid blocker such as Prilosec, Prevacid, Nexium or similar during this period. 

 

This picture is my stomach                      This is One Nodule-This is the Second Nodule (Both in my Esophagus)

And believe it or not the whole time I was waiting for test results I was joyful  that whole week!! I believe it's the Grace of God AND HIS Amazing LOVE!! Tomorrow I go in for my CAT Scan... I still don't understand why I still have to have a CAT Scan... But it is what it is!! 

 I believe I needed to go through this to make me change as a person, I think All my life I took LIFE for granted... I never thought I was like that, until recently I looked back on my life. In my early twenties living the fast life, and allowing people to treat me like I'm replaceable... NOW I know who's REALLy there for me, and Who just come around when it's convent for them!! It saddens me but it is what it is!!

I'm just grateful for my wonderful husband and kids!! This month has been One emotional roller coaster!! To realize people you cared about sOo much ALL your life, could careless about you!! They know what your going through.. and to only have awkward silence when we talk..(maybe they just don't know what to say..)  I guess I've been reflecting on my life and everyone in it...  All I can do is pray for them...(RIGHT?!?) I sometimes get mad about it.. because they say one thing and do another (JUST like the saying.. Actions speak louder than words!) 

But to end this on a POSITIVE NOTE.... I want to give God ALL the Glory and Praise on giving me a peace in my soul and a joy in my heart in these difficult times!! I would like to share two songs that come to mind when I think of his LOVE!! Everyone have a Great Thanksgiving! God Bless!!


Hillsong-Desert Song
http://youtu.be/4WYK6TxWX7s


Kim Walker- I Surrender


http://youtu.be/oSgn-nmBpNY

*A day I would like to forget...

 Today was an emotional day for my family and I.... I had an EGD and Colonoscopy done today...
I guess I went in thinking they would find nothing or find out I have IBS... Well.. I guess that was wishful thinking!!
 The doc found a nodule in my esophagus which was biopsied... and now it's the waiting game... This will be the longest 7 days of my life... I just pray for strength, courage and nothing but positive thoughts!!  The next step is a CT scan of the area where they found the nodule...

 After hearing the results my husband and I didn't talk or even discuss what we had just heard (the car was silent)... I think it was a state of shock for the both of us... then after dinner we had some time alone to talk... He expressed that he knows it's nothing, because God didn't give me him just to take me away... And all I can think is my husband and kids don't deserve to go through this.... My husband always voices to me how I'm the back bone of the family... and without me he is nothing... It brakes my heart that I can't be the "Angelica" everyone knows and loves... I'm usually trying to act like I'm in NO pain and put a smile on my face.... Wish me luck for the up coming testing... and please keep me in your prayers!!

This song came to mind today...
http://youtu.be/M-GPbYcTDbQ

Wonderful In Every Way!!

 Yes indeed wonderful in every way! This is what I say when I look over at my significant other after staying up late with me for 2 weeks now(every night) with insomnia.... I look over with such amazement how well he has taken over some stuff I sometimes can't do anymore... I think and always say, "I've been blessed!"

  I always say he is my rock... Like the bible says in marriage you become One...a 3 fold with God! Tonight was such an emotional night...(with the GI appt. tomorrow) And for my Rock to go out of his way to make me comfortable in every way...Is so amazing to me! I'm so lucky the Lord sent him to me...So Ray.. Here's to you! And many more... Richer or Poorer... Sickness and in Health!! I Love YOU!!

  Sade- Lovers Rock...;-)

http://youtu.be/WvUayiIMNxw

Sade- Nothing can come between us!

http://youtu.be/XVij6j5do2A

What A DAY!!!

Today's Blog will consist of songs and Scriptures since I've been kinda heated today how people take life for granted!! All I WILL say is  Life is too short... don't sweat the small stuff.. be happy you can enjoy life with the ones who mean the most to you.....

"For the Lord delights in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation." -Psalms 149:4
http://youtu.be/WMZ45ezYFkA

"The Peace of God... Shall keep your hearts & minds."-Philippians 4:7
 http://youtu.be/oSgn-nmBpNY

 "May all who search for you be filled with joy and gladness. May those who love your salvation repeatedly shout, "The LORD is great!" -Psalm 40:16
http://youtu.be/CoUOrLe4vlY

What a day to stay home

Today is Not a good day...As some of you may know I have problems with my stomach and this is the reason for the appt with the GI doc.... But until then I have to suffer with all this sickness and madness!!

I woke up feeling weak and shaky... Only to find out I forgot about a family members birthday party today... I hate being anti-social because of the IC or with my stomach!! But I've decided to suck it up and go...

 I love to express myself through music...So here's a song that I thought fits my mood today!!
Click on the Name below....

 Stand in the Rain By: SuperChick

Can We Say "Cocktail"...(Shaken not Stirred)

Yes this blog will be short and sweet...." Yes I would like another Cocktail Please "... And 2morrow is T.GoSh.I.F!!  It's only right...So here I am hyping myself up once again...I need more info on the whole catheter issue!! I've had a few traumatic moments with the 2 different sizes I have... I need some feed back..I need an expert on the whole "Cocktail"/Installations issue!!

 Once again I'm up late, I have no energy for all this... My body is just sOo uncomfortable... I NEED SLEEP!!

 Well IC Family Good Night... and God Bless

"He that shall humble himself shall be exalted." -Matthew 23:12
"At the voice of thy cry: when he shall hear it, he will answer thee." -Isaiah 30:19
"Always be a positive force for yourself and others." -Angelica.

Here's another favorite of Hopeful Angel!

http://youtu.be/X4GmLRTJq1w

Hello everyone....

Has anyone ever tried Lidoderm( Lidocaine patch for the pelvic area?) I'm having a bad flare and need some relief from the pain.. any suggestions?

I also have french tip catheters, does that make a difference? I think that's why my installation went awry this last time....

It's Only the Beginning of the Madness

Hello my IC family... I hope all is well... Yes people it is only the beginning of the madness for me! I received a call today from my general doc saying my GI appointment is set... and to me that sounds like the beginning of  horrible testing... (Well in my eyes it is)  I read all the time on different sites how we (IC patients have soOo many other things going on with our bodies... and not just the bladder...)

 So I'm crying out... crying out to My IC Family for answers.. what should I expect from the Gastro doc?!? I need some kind of idea on what to expect when I go... Please give me some feed back...

 All last week I had to hype myself up for an installation (since the last one was done with a Male Catheter, so that was an experience I will NEVER forget!!) So after all last week of Hyping myself up only to have another installation to go awry AGAIN!! (NO Wonder why I have to hype myself up every time!)LOL... Here's some IC Talk for you.... well everyone went out last Friday to have a cocktail after work... I came home and had my own cocktail...(A Cocktail I dread to make!!)LOL...On today's Happy hour Specials we have: 3CC OF SODIUM BICARBONATE, 8CC OF  LIDOCAINE,  AND 100MG OF ELMIRON....LOL...Just little IC humour for you, I would rather go through trials and hard times with a smile on my face!! NO MATTER HOW BAD IT MAY LOOK OR FEEL... Remember We can only do this with the GRace of God.. YOu can go through your trials and hard times feeling sorry for yourself and be down or you can be joyful and have hope for a cure... AND SHOW THE WORLD THAT WE DON'T LET THIS DISEASE CONTROL OUR LIFE!!! Good Night my IC Family... and God Bless!!

**Here is an amazing song... How Beautiful the KING of ALL KINGS IS!!**

http://youtu.be/JbCfyZHSQbE

THURSDAY MADNESS!!

Today is a horrible day for Hopeful Angel.... besides IC I have ruptured disc and pinch nerves... and today is not a good day!! I believe I'm on my 3rd day of a flare, with my back acting up.... Today is not the day for my body to act up!! I have to take the youngest to her first karate class...(Life goes on, whether  I feel good or not) I think that's why I get so emotional... I try to be this strong, courageous women for my kids and husband...(but days like today, I just want to lay in bed all day and cry my eyes out!!)... Some people in my life think if I just get up and get myself going that I'll magically feel better!! When they express this... it makes me feel like my disease isn't taken serious...(thank God my husband is supportive and gives me unconditional love).. because if these people were my support group I think I would lose it and be DEPRESSED!! This is why I thank God for my wonderful husband, because he knows this disease is REAL and the PAIN is REAL...

 So instead of sitting here with my sob stories and my pain...I want to share some positive words with everyone!! Maybe it will put me in a better mood..
 "When I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me." Micah 7:8
 "The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed." Psalm 9:9
"So will I save you, and you shall be a blessing." Zechariah 8:13
Well everyone have a wonderful night and God Bless!!

 

Short And Sweet

Well today's entry will be short and sweet! I think with all the new stress of yesterday's doctors appointment took a toll on me today.... All I did was lay around hoping I wasn't one of those girls on the show "I didn't know I was pregnant"... because it sure feels like I'm about to deliver a baby, ovaries, or bladder.... one of the three.... All you IC patients have all felt this many times during a flare....( this is the only way I can describe the pressure and pain).... And the sad thing about this disease is it's set off by stress, or any kind of change in hormones... I keep hyping myself up for an installation, but all I have are men catheters!! Do you know how bad that feels when my husband goes a little to far or moves and stabs my bladder wall....(then I get to bleed for a couple days after)...I need some encouragement....encouragement to go up stairs and get it over and done with.... Sometimes I wonder who's Cheerios's I peed in to deserve this...LOL...

Well my friends it's off to catheter myself and cozy up with a bottle of pills for the pain!! I hope tomorrow will be a better day....Goodnight and God Bless!!

A Day I would like to forget!!

Hello everyone....I hope you all had a good Tuesday...  I on the other hand would like to forget today ever happened...(Ok, maybe that's going a little over bored) I had my doctors appointment and remember this was with a General doc to find out what going on with my back and bowel problems.... The doc seemed to be really nice and listened to all my symptoms.... So I go through all this just to find out I need to see 3 different specialist....A nerve specialist, a gastric doc and a bone specialist....Don't get me wrong, I am very happy I got some kind of direction...I just thought the general doc would be able to help... I will say it again... I WISH I COULD TAKE A VACATION FROM MY BODY!! I was expecting just a general check up from the new doctor and maybe some blood work.....Only to find out I have to drop my drawers and spread my cheeks..LOL...(sorry if that's T.M.I) What a day that was... Maybe he should have bought me a drink first, maybe that's why I was so traumatized...LOL
 I'm trying to compare today with the day my urologist showed my husband and I how to do installations(with my husband, nurse and huge mirror looking at all my "goods") Which of the two was more horrifying for me?!? I think I'm going with learning how to do installations!! I can only imagine what the gastric doc has in store for me?!?LOL...
 I'm sure many of you have some kind of story... Don't hold back! Share with me those awkward moments.... Well my friends today has been a day to remember...(as much as I would like to forget it..) Have a Wonderful evening...Good Night! God Bless!!

What a way to Start off...

Hello Everyone....My name is Angelica...but I go by Angel...I'm a 31yr old woman who is married to a Wonderful Man with two beautiful daughters...my oldest is 16yrs old and my youngest is 6 soon to be 7yrs old..My blog couldn't start at a better time.. with IC and everything else...sometimes I wonder how I keep it together....(then in a complete second...I do remember How..)The Grace Of God...Tomorrow I have an appointment with a New general doctor...(since my uro recommend that I go to one) With IC...who knows what other diseases come with it?!? Weather its Fibromyalgia,Inflammatory bowel disease,Systemic lupus or Endometriosis...for the past three months I have lost a lot of weight...(which I don't mind the weight loss.LOL..) but Doctors are kind of worried that a 31yr old can lose 30 pounds and have urinary and bowel accidents... This has been going on for awhile now... So tomorrow I get to sit down with someone new and tell them all my little nasty symptoms that I have... I, myself think I have so much going on that I'm worried I might just leave something out! Has anyone ever felt they just need a vacation from their own bodies?!?! If only..RIGHT?  For weeks now I have kept my mind from wondering off into "The Negative World"(is what I call it)... I have KEPT MYSELF so busy with the kids and the hubby.. And here we are, the night before... Wish me luck... Because the only thing that is going through my head right now is... If God is with me... Who and What can be against me?!? I will say my nightly prayer and hope for the best...I think it's kind of eerie that one year ago.. October of 2009 I found out I had IC... and here I am a year later with new symptoms.... I am fairly new to the whole IC Disease... But I have spent many hours and many days doing my research on this disease...I have found out that many of us have not just one but two-three diseases that are accompanied with IC...I hope to Share experiences and thoughts with you...Here's to us...and God Bless!