The AfterMath

The "AfterMath" has been a very humbling experience if I may say... I would have never thought in a million years that I would have to do something I didn't want to do..just for comfort or health reasons. I say comfort because to be comfortable every month and NOT being bed bound for a week every month... The choice to be some what "normal" but not guaranteeing the pain will be any better... The surgery had it's pros and cons... and for the first couple days ALL I seen were the cons!! First off I was not aware I was spending a night in the labor and delivery floor.. and once I found that out in recovery, I was a wreck for the next two days!! Yes I know in my last blog I stated that I'm blessed with two beautiful girls, but in my mind and heart I've always wanted one more(just a chance to have a boy) and with all the sudden health issues there was no way... I would never want this experience to make me a bitter person, because I would hate to be that!! The way I look at it is it's just one more thing Interstitial Cystitis took from me, and it's kinda of an attitude you have with someone that you both agree to disagree and "move on"...

But after all the different emotions, the ups and downs... "The Aftermath"... How I've grown to realize how beautiful my "little" family is... I think we tend to "go through the motions" in life and we tend to become blind of just the little gestures of kindness.. I know I do, and I Always stop and look at how things are in life and how beautiful they are (but we all tend to go through the motions)... God has shown his Mercy and Grace, and I believe this because if NOT I would have become that bitter person if I didn't have him to lean on...  Or maybe I should say I used to be that bitter person, and now I have him and my life and heart have changed dramatically!! And by having him is not saying I'm perfect and I have all the answers... It's say the opposite! It's admitting that I will have ups and downs, but that I will have faith in him that he will give me the comfort and strength to over come them... Just like my "AfterMath" emotions... I can not express with words the feelings I have felt the last few days, it has been amazing! I believe this is just one step in "the wilderness", one step closer to the "mountain top"!! God is AMAZING!!

I love this song.. One Republic.. I'm sure some of you didn't know their a Christian band
http://youtu.be/HtNS1afUOnE

Changes... Can be difficult... But will you go through change lying down or standing up?

Yes this is very true... Changes are difficult for the most of us... especially if it's something we didn't plan for our future... I am one to "go with the flow", but recently I was told by my doctor that there is more going on with my body then just Interstitial Cystitis... and for this reason we need to try different things to see if it helps with my pain levels and symptoms...

One suggestion is to take Lupron shots to stop my monthly and see what happens from there... Or I was given the option of a Hysterectomy..3rd option is Lupron and a Hysterectomy...

When I first heard the news, it was shocking to me. After my youngest daughter was born we always hoped for a little boy.. but now with the news I've come to terms with this never happening... At first I was surly heart broken about it, but how can I be so selfish and have hurt or harsh feelings...  I have been blessed with two lovely daughters who I love dearly and wouldn't change a thing... Although I can admit this is a difficult change... a "change of plans" per say... The Lord knows what's best for me and I will not question this... I pray he will give me strength, courage and wisdom for what's coming next...

1st shot of Lupron is tomorrow so please pray for me my fellow IC family...

"Happy are those who are strong in the Lord"-Psalm 84:5
"Protect me, for I am devoted to you. Save me, for I serve you and trust you. You are my God" -Psalm 86:2
"You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my only source of hope"-Psalm 119:114

It's almost the FOURTH of JULY!!

Hello my fellow IC family... I hope everyone is having a pain free day... I'm looking forward to the long weekend!! I'm ready for some family fun times! It has been a long month of worry and stress for my family and I.
 We recently found out my mom has ovarian cancer which spread to her diaphragm and her fatty tissue that covers her intestines... She went through surgery on 06/24/11, they took most of it out and the out come looks great... Now she has a long road of chemotherapy( 4 months ).  I know God will be by her side every step of the way... She was sent home today and I'm excited to see her without tubes coming out from every where!
 We all tend to take life for granted or we just simply go through the motions everyday... I know I have... and when your family is hit with a scare like CANCER, it makes you stop and appreciate everything and EVERYONE in your life!!

 I hope everyone has a wonderful fourth and be careful!

It's been awhile... But here it goes...

Hello my IC family... I hope everyone is doing good and having a pain free week.  It's been a long time since I blogged, I guess my life was in a dark place and I needed time to myself.  I think if I have one flare after another with no relief, life gets harder to deal with...  I always feel I'm at the end of my rope and I tend to isolate myself... I'm sure a lot of you can relate!

In February I went through a hydrodistension and a bladder biopsy... the procedure went well... but the first week after my procedure I was having a really bad flare so I'm yet to see if the procedure worked...

Today I went to the Ob doctor since I have new symptoms, which I was told I might have endometriosis... which I don't know what to think about that... My mind frame lately has been so fed up with going to the doctors or even to the uro... I know that's no way to think, but it just takes a tow on me (mentally).... My ob said she wishes she can be straight forward and give me a straight answer with what's wrong with me... but now I have to go through more test to see what else is causing my new symptoms... But I'm not going to look at it in a negative way, I'm looking at it like ... it's the first steps of finding out what is going on... (I'm not going to do the "what if " game) I hate when I do... because then I feel defeated and lost... and I will NOT allow myself to be in that dark place!

I'm praying that God gives me a peaceful spirit, and strength to deal with the daily pain that comes with this disease...

Here's a video of Francesca
http://youtu.be/pqqdA8LHN7I